I wrote this (http://assipassi.xanga.com/2009/02/15/instead-of-giving-myself-reasons-why-i-cant-i-give-myself-reasons-why-i-can/) during my first Weight Watchers Journey right as I made goal. I thought I knew it all then. I thought I had it figured out. I was going to maintain my goal weight forever and ever. And I did, for a while. I was a WW receptionist, as it afforded me the luxury to “have a job” while we moved, and to get some discounts on the awesome snacks. I try not to be judgemental, but sometimes I judged “my regulars” who gained weight or the lifetimers who were 20 or more pounds over goal. I was never gonna go there again! I gave away all my “fat clothes” so I wouldn’t have an excuse.

It went well for a while even through the long roadtrip from GA to CO when we moved and through a trip to NYC with my friend, I held steadfast. I will always blame my brother-in-laws return from deployment as the starting point of my decline, as there were a lot of pizza nights, going out to restaurants and such. But really, that is just an excuse. I’m a big girl, I could have made better decisions. It is hard when you live in a family and you don’t buy the groceries and everybody else can eat whatever they want without a problem. But it can be done.

Anyways – the weight kept creeping up and soon I had no choice but to buy bigger clothes again. I told myself it was “just for now”. I will loose this again soon, but I have to have something to wear in between. Another lie. Soon you are in the mindset of “whatever, there is nothing I can do, I’m just meant to be a fat kid.” And you get more depressed, and you eat more, because it doesn’t matter anyway. I had no more room in my closet and was forced to pack up my “thin clothes” and get fat clothes again. But this time I did not give them away. I still have them.

I tried the new WW system and could not get into it. Without meetings (and I was too ashamed to go to meetings as a lifetime member so much over goal, remembering vividly my own judgements), I did not understand the new plan. So I dug out all my old stuff, books and calculators and tried to do it again on my own, but that also didn’t work, because all the support tools were geared for the new plan. I gave up again. I did a short stint on Shakeology, which had worked for my sister, but not for me (and I felt so deprived). I started realizing that once again, I tried to not be in photographs or made funny faces, to hide my weight. I also wanted to get back into horsebackriding and I was horrified having to tell somebody my weight so they can pick a horse for me – would they even have a horse that can carry my weight. I felt so bad for the horse that would have to have me on their back. I finally decided that I can’t let it go on.

One of my best friends had just started again and was raving about the new freestyle and the free foods. I re-signed with WW online. I was skeptical. I loved the strictness of the old plan I was on 10 years ago. Then all you could possibly do is use fitpoints (and I didn’t exercise, so I didn’t use them). And now you have all these free foods, weekly points and fit points? Granted, I have way less daily points to use (then I started out with 35, now I have 24), but I was going to give it a shot. It has worked for me before. As a matter of fact, it’s been the only program that has ever worked for me. So I was willing to trust it. And it is working again! I made it to 5% in three weeks – that’s insane! It’s crazy. I’m not complaining, but it is literally blowing me away. Just this past week I had a couple of days that I had to dip into the weeklies and I went out for dinner. I lost 4.1 lbs. Ten years ago my average weight loss was 2 lbs a week. I know that it may turn out to be the same again. But for now I’m ecstatic. It seems that the difference this past week to the week before (when I lost 2 lbs) was that I ate way more “free foods” – salad and salmon. So there you have it.

I know freestyle doesn’t work for some people. They crave the strictness or “more control” of whatever was before. And I know where they are coming from. See above! Whatever the program was that came before freestyle didn’t work for me. And I know I never gave it a fair shot and I may not have done it right, because I was trying to do it without support. But freestyle seems to work for me. Just because a food is free, doesn’t mean that I will overindulge in that food. But it makes for great snack options. It makes for great options when I have used too many points already. I don’t have to go hungry. I don’t have to deprive myself. And that is what is going to get me to sustain it this time.

I know I was eating crap, I know my portions were creeping up, I know I was eating too much chocolate. Now I have control over this again. I’m accountable. And if I want chocolate, I can have it. And however many points that costs me doesn’t mean I have to go hungry for dinner. I can eat a salad with salmon and still not go over.

I’m not sure why freestyle doesn’t work for everybody. I’m not a nutritionist. It seems to be working for me. I also love the control of tracking. I’m trying not to use my weekly points. I know you’re supposed to, but for me that is creeping into dangerous territory. I am not swapping my fit points. Not yet anyway (all I am doing right now is counting steps). I am swapping weeklies first. Maybe when I start exercising I’ll start using fitpoints. We’ll see how it goes.

I’m going on vacation to Brazil in a week. For 10 days I will be somewhat cut off from WW. I will try to track, but I don’t even know how to find all the foods I am going to try in my app. I know I will be eating a lot of fruit and veggies, but there is other stuff, too. I know there will be a lot of alcohol. But I also know my BFF is going to make me exercise. So hopefully I won’t gain too much back. Or maybe I won’t gain anything and just plateau. I would be ok with that. I don’t want to stress out over it. But for the first time in probably a couple of years I am hopeful that I can get back to goal and that I will be able to maintain it for the rest of my life.

Highest Weight 240lbs
Goal Weight 160 lbs (lifetime April 2009)
Starting weight (1/8/18) 230.3 lbs
Current Weight (1/28/18) 218.1 lbs
Height: 5’8”

I gotta get back into blogging. I love blogging. I just got lazy. Facebook is so easy to stay in touch, but it doesn't quench my blogging thirst. So I'm gonna try to spend some more time on here again. For now I'm gonna start with this survey. Harry Potter movie review should be coming up in a few days. I'm still trying to digest and get over my "initial reaction".

1. Favorite childhood book? It was a series, they were about a horse name Fury - by an author named Miller. I recently looked them up and you can still get some of them on amazon or ebay.

A few nights ago driving home from work I had a “Eureka Moment”! You see, for a while now I’ve been wanting to write and publish a book. I just didn’t quite know about what yet. One idea I had for sure, was to write about animals – more specifically about the sanctuary that Sylvi and I are planning to build. But that is still a little while off.

So the idea hit me. Why not do something that will help benefit and build the sanctuary, instead of waiting until I have it and then write about it? I have a couple of good stories to tell but not nearly enough. Here is where YOU come in. I need all my friends’ help and if you have thought about contributing and helping me with my sanctuary but didn’t quite know how, here is your chance!

I want your stories – stories about how your experiences with a certain pet or animal have inspired you or even changed your life!

I know that there are a million angel animal or chicken soup for the soul books out there already, but I hope that my angle is a little different and will inspire others as well.

Send me your stories, I will edit them - if necessary - and compile them and try to get a publisher or self-publish. Most or all of the profits will then go to benefit Kindred Spirits A.R.C. (www.kindredspiritsarc.org) The website is still bare minimum – we are working on that and our Foundation WILL be incorporated and established early next year!

There are some spoilers! Read with caution if you haven't seen the movie yet!

How do I start? Well … let’s get the fangirl shrieks out of the way. OME! … OMJ! … Squeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

Furthermore, I also feel the need for a disclaimer to show that I try to be as unbiased as I can in my review. Here is the thing: I like the Twilight series. Heck – I love the Twilight series. Not as much as I love Harry Potter, but I do! And although I AM “Team Edward” (not that there is such as thing – as Bella says “It’s always been him” – but that’s a whole other blog), my swooning over Edward has more to do with the actor that portrays him in the movie than with the character. (I always joke with my BFF Cynde that she can have Edward, but Rob is mine!) Don’t get me wrong – I love the idea of an “Edward” being out there for everybody, a love, a bond so strong that being without it is impossible. But my own life experience has left me with a hole in MY chest that will not heal and has left me jaded. Therefore, like I said, love the story and the idea behind it but you won’t find me falling for Edward.

Ironically, that very hole in my own chest is what made “New Moon” my favorite book of the series. I can identify with that installment the most. Bella’s confusion as to why he is leaving. There is no fight, they love each other, don’t they? As well as the pain Bella feels, the physical pain when Edward leaves her. The way Stephenie Meyer describes that Bella has to hug herself in order to “hold herself together”. That feeling of the world and life outside of you passing by, while you seem to stand still (as in the chapters October, November, December and January). I sobbed through this book, unable to put it down, turning the pages frantically to find out whether Bella’s story would end up happier than mine.

This is where I’m coming from as a lover of this book and movie series. Not your average fangirl, I have slightly different angles of looking at it, which I hope I explained a little bit.

With all that being said, I want to start off this movie review with saying that I absolutely loved, LOVED this movie. Is it going to be one of the great Classics (from a cinematic viewpoint)? Probably not. But we have to consider the source material. Again – let me say that I am a fan of the books, but let’s face it – Shakespeare they are not! But looking at it strictly from the question “did they translate the book New Moon successfully to the screen?” I have to answer with a thundering “YES!”

For me this was a perfect adaptation of the source material to the screen. Melissa Rosenberg obviously “gets” the books. She captured the essence and translated it to the screen. I loved how in this movie Bella’s narration is driven by (undeliverable) emails to her BFF Alice. What an ingenious way to “avoid” boring voiceovers and drive the story along. (Incidentally most of my own fanfiction has Bella writing in a diary – spooky, Angie, huh?). Chris Weitz, the director, did a great job of maintaining the look and feel of the first movie (which became evident when watching the “double feature”) while taking it to the next level. He took this world that had been created by somebody else and kept the integrity, yet improved it with his own vision. (I’ll come to the minor missteps later). The Studio – Summitt – obviously realized after “Twilight” exactly WHAT they have on their hands and decided to put a little more money and effort in it. And it shows! The CGI is 1000x better than in Twilight. The wolves are amazing! The fast movements of the vampires are described in the books as something you can’t really see with the naked eye. The special effects now translate that beautifully with slow motion and really fast blurs. A-N-D, of course, the sparkling – they finally got it right! “Like Diamonds”, that’s what it looks like now!

Let’s talk about performances. Kristen Stewart stepped it up a notch. While I was still a little hesitant about her after Twilight she’s got my full support now. Billy Burke – consistently great, the wolfpack – seem to work out fine. Victoria is still deliciously evil, I’m sad to see her go. The Cullens, as in the book, are regretfully mostly absent from this movie. But when we see them they are great as always. I still can’t believe how much older and how different Peter Facinelli looks with the blonde hair and with that hairstyle. Not sure about the Volturi, they looked different in my mind. Martin Sheen plays it deliciously heinous, but I’m not impressed with the others, save for Dakota Fanning. I think she fits Jane perfectly and her little sadisitic smile when she first tortures Edward, then tries it on Bella and that grin fading into frustration when it doesn’t work is brilliant!

Taylor Lautner – well …. Everybody is talking about the 30 lbs of muscle he put on, which is obviously … umm… nice to look at. But on top of that I have to give him HUGE props. This kid is what, 17 now? He was my weak link when Twilight casting was first announced. With his sparkling white teeth and cockyness. “Sharkboy as Jacob?”, I thought – puhleeeze! But he won me over in the prom scene when he gives Edward the evil eye. From then on I couldn’t wait to see what he would do with his expanded role in New Moon. Despite what I just said, I was rooting for him to keep his job. He was obviously dedicated to the role and boy, he did not disappoint! He nailed this! He makes us root for Team Jacob – almost. He makes us understand what it is like to be “the friend”. His emotions are an open book. Sometimes just with subtle facial expressions. I also liked how his stance and walk change after he becomes a werewolf – but is in his human form. Watch for it! Taylor has no problem carrying this movie. I am really, really impressed!

Which leaves me with Rob. We all know that I am a little biased on that front. I was a Robert Pattinson fan long before I became a Twilight fan and when he was cast I shrieked like a fangirl. The irony that he plays the one character I said in my disclaimer I wasn’t falling for, is not lost on me! But yes, I knew he would be perfect for the role. I had seen what he can do and he is amazingly talented, slipping into each different role he plays perfectly. Be it a WWI fighter pilot with PTSD or a 16 year old nerdy geek. It is sad that the world only knows him as “the guy from Twilight” because he can do so much more. Judging from what I’ve seen in the “Remember Me” trailer he will be able to show the world soon! Another irony, of course, is that my favorite actor doesn’t show up much in my favorite installment of the series. But again – WHAT he does is top notch. I don’t know where all the haters are coming from. I think he portrays Edward’s conflict perfectly. You can see his struggle of loving Bella, having to fight off the urge to drink her blood, wanting to be with her forever, but knowing that it puts her in danger. Then he needs to make Bella believe that he doesn’t want her anymore – heck, I believed it, but I also saw the pain in his eyes, in his face! After the phone call with Jacob, the dispair that drives him to go to Volterra – just wow! And I know that the make up had a lot to do with how horribly sick he looked at the end, when he starts walking out into the sun, but he is almost catatonic, like Bella was. It comes across when he sees Bella. The book has Edward thinking that Bella is a ghost or spirit that is waiting for him on the other side. He believes she is dead and that because he is almost dead he can see her waiting there for him: “It’s amazing … Carlisle was right.” Without saying a word in the movie Rob shows that on his face! And what about the torture scene? I mean think about how you would act to be in excrutiating physical pain, without anybody touching you. I thought he did a great job.

Now about some scenes I particularly liked. Cynde, of course, also called the way they would keep Rob “in” the movie. Instead of just hearing Edward’s voice – as is in the book, Bella sees images of Edward when she does something dangerous. I loved the way they did that. I particularly liked the drowning scene, when they are both floating next to each other and when Jacob pulls Bella out her hand that was trying to touch him dissolves the image.

The chapters where in the book it only says “October, November, December and January.” We actually discussed that at Twicon at one of the panels and I thought they would do something similar to what they did here. Almost like a scene in one of my most favorite movies “Nottinghill”. Here Bella sits on a chair staring blankly out the window. The world around her goes on and moves, while her own little world seems to stay still. Save for the pictures of friends on her walls! Did anybody notice that? With every month (and turn around her) pictures disappear from her wall. I really loved that scene.

Another favorite is the scene in the rain, when Bella confronts Jacob for the first time after he becomes a wolf. Did you notice the steam coming off of him in the rain? He is supposed to be 108 degrees hot. Of course, there should be steam. No detail is left out. But I thought it was funny that the first thing Bella says is “You cut your hair!” ?????? You don’t see the freakin’ abs on him, and him running around in shorts, without a shirt, in the pouring rain? LOL!

Like I said, the wolves are great, the phasing is fantastic. Not sure about the “brotherhood” dynamic yet. I haven’t been able to really “feel” for the guys yet. A lot of important key points were explained in conversation, which was good.

Also loved the scene where Edward recites Shakespeare in the classroom.

There were lots of little jokes again (“as soon as you put the dog out”).

And, of course, the grand finale – Edward’s and Bella’s negotiation of when to change her. I wish that would have come across a little bit clearer, but it ended perfectly! I mean, even the music stopped! And Edward drops the bombshell! Perfect!

I have some little qualms but I decided they were not enough to warrant a deduction in stars. The music – not as great as for the Twilight movie, but after hearing it with the movie now, it makes sense. I didn’t like the eyes. Although I am starting to get used to it after watching three times, I still think they shouldn’t have changed them from the first movie. They are too prominent now. They are supposed to look different, but in a way that nobody can figure out why. I think they meant well, but it was too much. I actually liked the makeup – except for Laurent, who was ash-looking. I thought Rosalie looked a lot better and more beautiful than in Twilight, but I didn’t like that they changed Alice’s hair.

So overall – I’m not sure where all the hate from the movie critics is coming from. I loved this movie, as it seems do all the Twilight fans. The midnight show I was too excited to get emotional to the point where I would cry – except for the big Volterra reveal scene, when the guy in front of us got up to go out at the crucial moment! And then comes back and does it again! WTF? But the second viewing had me in tears when Edward leaves Bella, and also when Edward is tortured. The third viewing I was on the verge of sobbing when Jacob turns into the wolf at the end and leaves.

– Oh …. and one more thing! Remember my self-imposed abstinence from any pictures or clips? It was so well worth it. When I came home from the midnight show I you-tubed the 3rd trailer and I am soooooo glad I didn’t watch that beforehand. I am glad I saw all that for the first time in the theater and in the right places in the movie. It had a much bigger effect on me as if I had known them beforehand. I was even a little confused in the movie, because the way they cut the first trailer (which I saw beforehand) was misleading. And it threw me off while watching the movie. I vow right now that I will do the same thing for Eclipse! The first trailer, that’s it! You can laugh and tease me all you want!
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A little addition to this blog!

OK... one of my facebook friends just sent me a comment by private message, because she didn't want to offend anyone. And without going into detail, she brought up a great point that I forgot to mention and then something else, that I now think I should explain more and better. So I'm adding on my own comment.

In the book there comes a point where Bella thinks (loose paraphrase) "could I ever settle for Jacob knowing that I could never love him with the intensity I know I could love with and have loved with in the past?" I think they captured it in the movie as well. Ironically right before Edward's phone call comes - the almost kiss, it was the closest in the movie they come to kissing and I think that symbolizes it perfectly. In my own life I had to consider that a couple of times as well. But I decided (for me personally) that I could not! I had a standard set by somebody and so far I haven't been able to "settle for less".

My friend was also concerned that Bella, this being her first relationship couldn't possibly know what a "real" hole in you is that cold be left behind by lifes many trials and tribulations. And furthermore she believes that a romantic love that is so strong that one partner would die if the other left makes romantic love pointless and hopeless. - I, on the other hand think that the whole idea of this being Bella's very first boyfriend that she hasn't even had sex with is totally the point. I remember my very first love and when we broke up it seemed like the world was going to end. (He wasn't the one that ultimately left the hole, however). I think that is the point here. The teenagers that read it, who never had a boyfriend or maybe have their first one now can relate to it, because for them this IS their whole world. And everything is sooooooo dramatic, because they don't know anything else yet. It just resonates with them - finally somebody that understands what they are feeling. And the Jacob part - well.... maybe it shows them and makes them think about that there may be others out there that they haven't considered yet. We, of course, know - as you said, that the very first one very likely is NOT your special someone. That the world doesn't come to an end and that we don't just die when somebody leaves you or betrays you. Although I think you would agree with me, that it sure feels that way!

Now.... why do I love the idea of an Edward? Because it gives me hope. Yup - after everything I've said it gives me hope that there may be somebody else out there for me. That maybe the guy that has left my hole wasn't my Edward after all and maybe when I meet him he will be able to close that. You see .... if that theory is correct that there is that bond - that one person in the world - where that bond is so strong that you would literally die if that person left, that person WOULDN'T leave "on a whim". That is the whole point - Edward thought he had to leave in order to protect her. He thought she would end up dead if he stayed. But he didn't realize that it was the other way around. And he himself was lost without her as well. But as long as he knew she was in the world he was willing to endure it. The moment he thought she was dead he didn't want to live either. Until, of course, he realizes in the end that they can't be without each other.

It is the case for the other Cullens as well, by the way - they all have found that mate, that special bond. Rosalie even carried Emmett for hundreds of miles to Carlisle restraining herself from drinking his blood. And even the wolves - the imprinting. That again symbolizes that there is one mate for you out there that you will stay with forever. Jacob even tries to force it (I think in Breaking Dawn) but it doesn't work. So yeah.... I like the idea of having an Edward out there for me. Because if I didn't I don't think I could stand living.

I hope that makes ANY sense at all.
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'd love to hear your thoughts.... On the review, the movie ... anything!

Last time was July 15th? Holy cow! I shall do better. I'm mostly on facebook now, but I do feel the need to write more than just post blurbs.... so I WILL do better!

Let's start with this! I got a new tattoo! Why? Because it was Friday, 13th. Well ... not just that, but that was part of it. Ever since I got my very first tattoo I'm addicted and I have tons more that I want, so I figured I best get started. This one has been a long time in the making. And now I was finally able to do it. So there we go.

I wanted to share a little bit of why and the motivation behind my getting tattooed in general. Here it goes. First a picture of my new artwork:

Every tattoo has a story, right? I know mine do. They all mark either a special event in my life, something that has meaning to me, or something that I just like - a lot - and want to carry with me always - as art on my body.

The story of my new triquetra tattoo is as follows:

Of course, it has partly to do with the TV Series "Charmed", no reason to deny it. But it's not just that. From the beginning it fascinated me. Probably because of my fascination with all things Celtic. But the idea to commit to it as a tattoo on my body came a lot later, after I did some research on the meaning.

It seems that the triquetra was used as a symbol in many different settings, and as usual nobody can agree on "who had it first". In Christian symbolism it represents the Holy Trinity: the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The unbroken circle represents eternity. The interwoven nature of the symbol denotes the indivisibilit and equality of the Holy Trinity. It could also represent three fishes ("Pisces"). When Christians wer persecuted, the fish was a valuable and secret symbol. The circle represents unending love for and from the creator and unending love for man and woman. (coincidentally my astrological sign is pisces!)

In Pagan/Wiccan/Goddess symbolism the triquetra represents the threefold nature of the Goddess as the maiden (young virigin), the mother (pregnancy and motherhood) and the crone (old age and immense wisdom). It symbolizes life, death and rebirth and the three forces of nature: earth, air and water. The inner three circles represent the female element and fertility. It also speaks to the trinity of the soul: physical, mental and spiritual.

Furthermore many cultures and religions consider the number three to be holy or divine. Some believe that the Triquetra are a Greek originated word meaning 3 legged. It is associated with progress and compensation. Found on the coat of arms of the Isle of Man.

Sooooooo..... after finding all that out, it made sense to me that I would be drawn to it. I liked the shape, the symbol, what it means, I did want something Celtic, so there it goes. As you can see, none of my tattoos have ever been entered into lightly. A lot of thought and planning goes into them. I want to be sure they are something I can live with for the rest of my life. The placement of my triquetra has been tried and tested out many a times by drawing it on myself and looking at it for days at a time. I have wanted this tattoo for a couple of years now (maybe a little longer) but couldn't, because of very strict grooming guidelines at Delta. So why now? Well.... I'm no longer at Delta, I moved to a new place where everybody is very accepting and where there are a lot of free-spirited as well as spiritual people - it was the right time! OH... and let's not forget: It was Friday the 13th today! Another very powerful number! Many say it's unlucky, but for us it's just spiritual and lucky! A little extra meaning added to a tattoo that came out great!

 I can not do this without spoilers! It's going to be a very detailed review. So if you haven't seen it you might not want to read until after you see it.

******* SPOILER ALERT *********

I love the way the movie starts. It ties together where we left off and leads us into what's coming. It might have to do with having the same director doing both movies. But that was excellent!

We're starting off with Harry being picked up by Dumbledore to see Slughorn. Not sure why he's not picked up at the Dursleys. Why are they missing? It's sort of important for the explanation that Harry is safe there until age 17 - but whatever. It works for the movie and I'm thinking we might can do this explanation in movie 7 (since that will have more time - being that it's two parts).

Right off the bet we see lots of awkard teenager flirting and outrageous humor. I think the humor in this movie are great. They do a lot to offset the dark and depressive mood. Actually, I think Order of the Phoenix was a lot darker than Half Blood Prince - probably due to that fact.

Would have loved to have seen the muggle prime minister, but alas - it's not necessary in the continuity. The filmmakers do take care of showing how Voldemort and the Death Eaters influence and wreak havoc on the muggle world as well as the magical world.

What did bother me is that we jump right into trying to get Slughorn's memory, and the hunt for horcruxes. There is none of the backstory - where does Voldemort come from? The story of the ring, the locket and how Voldemort loved to collect artifacts, which he then uses to make the horcruxes. No mention of the Hufflepuff Cup or that possibly "something of Ravenclaw's or Gryffindor's" could be a horcrux. Also - no mention of the snake Nagini! I'm usually not that hung up on things that are in the book and left out in the movie, however, this keeps sticking in my mind. Not sure why I can't let it go. I guess it must have been really important to me.

Another thing that bothered me is that we find out that Draco is looking at the cabinet. With Harry going into the Room of Requirement later and seeing the other one, it doesn't make sense that he can't connect the dots. However, I do see where they are coming from in terms of moving the story along and explaining what the cabinets do in a faster fashion. The same goes for all the little entries in the Half Blood Prince's potions book. But why does Harry have to ask Hermione about the Sectumsempra? The Levicorpus never surfaces - probably because the DA already used it last movie.... LOL! But fine.... those are more little things that I can live with.

The attack on the burrow.... hmmm.... weird! Not sure why they felt the need to add this into the movie when it's not in the book. Why do the Weasley's have to lose their house? But ok......

Other than that I think they did a really good job translating the book to the screen. I can definitely see where with more or less subtle things the director gives us important parts that the book readers will recognize (especially now that we know what happens in book 7), through quick actions rather than a drawn out explanation in the book. I think for the "casual watcher" it is clear and explanation enough - but it also satisfies us "hardcore" readers. I just have the feeling that David Yates has a real good grasp on the story, the books, the fans and how to translate the books to the screen.

Almost missing from the movie are Lupin and Tonks. Their short appearance, however, successfully shows how on edge their characters are, the state of distress, the intensity of their relationship. Wish it could be more.... but alas.... hoping for movie 7.

Very happy at how much Draco is in the movie! Tom Felton - sorry Cynde - I always thought was the best of the young actors. Daniel, I have to say, totally caught up NOW - probably with his experience of on-stage acting. But Tom Felton - wow! I hope Angie has somebody with her to resuscitate her. He does such an excellent job. He almost has the intensity of Alan Rickman. He must have learned a lot from him. And I can't get over how grown up he is.

Speaking of which .... what can I say? Alan Rickman seems to get better and better with every movie. He just IS Snape. How is it that he can say, like 2 words, and convey all this emotion - and with such an intensity at that!???!!!! You guys may remember that I have always been a Snape advocate. But with knowing what we know now of his backstory and about what happens in book 7, Rickman's performance just broke my heart. Because without words he shows his pain of unrequited love, the pain of having to see Lily's eyes on Harry and at the same time he oozes his disdain for Harry, because he sees so much of James in him. Rickman does not need words to tell us this! He conveys it simply with a look, with body language and with the way he speaks to Harry. - I love the fact that they left in the conversation with Dumbledore and Snape where Snape says "he doesn't want to do it anymore". - Breaking my heart!

Wish there was more of Neville. Again - hoping for movie 7, where he comes into his own (just like Draco does in this one.)

Michael Gambon finally got it right. Why did it take him 4 movies to "get it"? "Severus, please!" ... was delivered perfectly! But that wasn't the point where I broke down in tears. Because at that point you're still expecting a battle - we all know (at least I think we do) by now that Snape kills Dumbledore. So it doesn't come as much of a shock. The touching part comes later when we see the Great Hall - completely empty, silent! In the movie theater you could hear a pin drop at that point! That rarely happens! And then, of course, when everybody is gathered around Dumbledore's body and raises their wand in his honor - that's when I lost it! And I was waiting for Fawke's lament - but it never came - at least not at that point in time. I was about to rebel and to raise heck - but Fawkes came after all - a  little later, appeasing me.

Little bit disappointed that the big battle never happened. But again we are shown that Snape has a handle on things as Voldemort's right hand man. The fight at the end with Harry - again heartbreaking! I wanted Snape to have the line "no unforgivable curses for you, Potter", just because to me - in the book - that showed that he wanted to protect Harry, even in that moment. But the movie still shows that he protects him when Bellatrix attacks Harry and Snape - once again - uses the excuse "he belongs to the Dark Lord" to get her off of him. 

So - the verdict over all? Awesome! Possibly the best one in the series to date. I haven't made up my mind on that one yet. If it's not the best, it's a close second to OOTP (GoF will always be MY personal favorite for obvious reasons). I do have to say, I'm glad that David Yates is doing Deathly Hallows as well. It allows for a continuity that we haven't had before. I can already see how he set up certain things, because he knows the outcome and he knew how he's going to handle them in DH (in my opinion he did some of that in OOTP already, looking forward to HBP). One of the things I think are in this movie must be Rovena Ravenclaw's Diadem. I think Yates put it in the Room of Requirement already. I've been looking for it but have not been able to spot it yet. Won't you help me look for it!?

I thought I broke my own personal record having seen OOTP 6 times at the theater in 10 days. But today is a new personal record! Went to the theater 3 times in one day! Is that endorsement enough?

Time for another blog.

When I heard the news last week of Michael Jackson's passing (and Farrah's, of course) I was in disbelief and shock - as everybody. But I didn't know how much it really affected me until I watched the Memorial Service today.

It was surprising, because I really haven't listened to Michael for some years now. I do have, of course, a lot of his music, videos and yes, his book at home. I'm not ashamed. I'm a fan. Whenever the question in one of those "surveys" comes up: "If you could talk to anybody in the world - who would you want to talk to?" I would always say Michael Jackson. Because I think he was an extremely unique person and despite all his eccentricities I think he was an extremely intelligent, extremely passionate, compassionate man and an "old soul". I think that he was crucified in the media, because it is just "fun" to laugh about anybody that's different then you. I don't think that anybody but those closest to him really knew him. So yes - I would have loved to talk to him personally and see what he was all about.

This is not blind "fandom" - if anything I am usually ready to "punish" celebrities even harder than "regular" people, if just to show that there is no preferential treatment. But with Michael I just didn't feel that he did what he was accused of. Did he show bad judgement - yes, absolutely! But no, I'm sure he was innocent. I can't even imagine what it must have been like for him, not being able - ever - to go into public unnoticed. Living essentially his whole life in the public eye.

But I digress. I was lucky enough to see Michael Jackson live in Germany on the "BAD" tour. I knew then that this was probably the only time I would ever have this opportunity. Needless to say, it was fantastic!

Only 5 years older than me, Michael Jackson is basically my generation. I think this is one reason, why this is so hard. People my age are starting to die! That's not supposed to happen. Makes you aware of your own mortality. Another reason was seeing all those people at the Memorial Service.

Michael Jackson really brought people of all walks of life together. He had a strong family connection, supportive friends, and admirers even among his peers. The love and respect in that room was awe-inspiring.

And that's why I gotta break into a little rant. The Reverend Al Sharpton - REALLY? - does he have to stick his nose everywhere? This was not the time and place for his propaganda. While everybody spoke in low voices he needs to break out into a tirade in a "political-speech-voice", almost yelling? While - as he said - Michael opened doors for African American entertainers in every genre - that was not his goal. For Michael it wasn't about being black or white. It was about love - universal love, loving everybody equally, without seeing differences. He didn't set out to "pave the way" for black entertainers. His message to the world was "love your fellow human beings". So yeah, Mr Sharpton (who by the way I have met and who himself thinks he is better than a "lowly" airline agent) - was out of line and totally missed the point.

Rant over!

I was fairly composed until Brooke Shields took the stage and tried to compose herself before even starting her speech. By the time she cited the Charlie Chaplin song and said "today we need to smile, even though our heart is aching" I was sobbing. And, of course, when the whole family came on stage, Marlon, really moving - Janet and LaToya rallied around the kids, and, of course, Paris, talking about Michael as a Dad - OMG - I really lost it.

I spent the rest of the afternoon importing Michael's Music onto my ipod and I know I'll be watching the Thriller video and Moonwalker in the next few days.

Michael is at home now - as one of the mourners said "we needed him here, but God must have needed him even more"!

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? nope

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters? Can't go on those anymore....

3. When's the last time you've been sledding? oh boy.... can't remember

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? I agree with everybody...this is a trick question.

5. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely!

6. Do you consider yourself creative? sort of - depends on what it is

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife? Is the pope a catholic?

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? ummmm... neither

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics? Sure... I know that I despise it - too much friggin' wheeling and dealing and corruption going on!

10. Do you know how to play poker? No... but I know how to play the German "equivalent" - Skat

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? at least 36 - and that was horrible enough

12. What's your favorite commercial? ummmm.... don't think there are any good ones at the moment

13. Who was your first love? Mark Frazier.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light? nope - it's the correct German in me - LOL

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? yup

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees? neither

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating? yup

18. How often do you remember your dreams? fairly often.

19. What's the one thing on your mind? There's not just one... too many things going on right now!

20. Do you always wear your seat belt? Always.

21. What talent do you wish you had? to be able to just sit down at the piano and start playing - be it something from memory, or something I just "make up"

22. Do you like Sushi? sure

23. What do you wear to bed? nightshirts

24. Do you truly hate anyone? No. I tend not to spend that kind of energy. If it's bad, I simply eliminate them from my life. Completely severed. No return. - agree with teefahknee!

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be? hmmmmmm... let's see.... just one? really? Well... if I must decide.... take a wild guess.... LOL

26. Do you know anyone in jail? Nope

27. What food do you find disgusting? Celery - yuck!

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their backs? Never - and if somebody does that to you - I guess they are not your friends, are they now?

29. Have you ever been punched in the face? Nope

30. Do you believe in angels and demons? Yes ... well.... I believe in angels. But if you agree with Sylvia Browne, there are no demons. And a lot of what she says makes sense to me, so I'm going to go with her belief that there are no demons - only dark entities in human form.